I have so often spoken of my mum and my extraordinary relationship with her. It didn’t always show up in such a profound manner. After all, I was a teen for a number of years, thinking a different set of circumstances were better than my own. Even if my family was quite dysfunctional ( and it had it’s own juice of craziness) it was mine, and I knew it well. It was still on the whole, better than many other families from my viewpoint.

One of many sweet memories of my mother was how she interacted with others, both in business and in our personal lives. As years went by, and as she dealt with really tough medical issues like a fantastic hero, I grew my love and respect for her, in unimaginably loving ways. She moved from being my parent, to becoming my darling friend. She wasn’t perfect by any means, and I definitely wasn’t one bit perfect in my interactions with her either.

One thing that developed over time and with how many years we spent in each other’s company every single day, mostly 24/7, was the kindness we shared. I asked her questions about her past, about who she was, how she had shown up in life, and what had shaped some of her choices and decisions. There was an innocence around her, a childlike aspect to her, which encouraged her to leave most of the arrangements in life to be made by her husband.

My father was mostly out of integrity during his life. He cheated on her with many other women, drank heavy spirits daily and smoked like he was on fire. He was also a huge character, with jokes always ready, he loved an audience and was a bit of a lovable rogue. She really loved him and forgave him more than anybody should. He liked her a whole bunch but didn’t love her the way she would have wanted. He wasn’t satisfied with his brotherly love shared with her, and she felt his frustration and anger at who she wasn’t.

They weren’t a great match at all, and as years went by, it became apparent. He was definitely not kind to her. She wasn’t always kind to him either. I have witnessed the roles of married partners in similar ways with people I’ve guided over the years, and their dynamic wasn’t as unusual as you’d imagine.

My own first marriage mirrored this great unkindness in almost every way, especially to the point of complete estrangement from the children that came out of that marriage. They weren’t my children, they were his. They chose their father and became close to him, while he dishonored and disrespected me and everything I came with.

I learned to live in a kind and loving World with people who have become my family over the many years. I love the kindness I show them and they return. I must be honest and admit to all of you that I don’t miss the children that came out of the marriage. I am entirely grateful for the sweet years I helped raise those little people to be the adults they are today. I am not sure I’d change much, while I continue to close the circle on my past, making peace with every step.

I am very much in love and happy now with a man who is kind and loving all of the time. I don’t tolerate unkindness in any area of my life for very long and I instead, invoke and invite wonderful and joy filled relationships and experiences into every single day. Kindness really does matter.

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Love & Blessings,

Ruth

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