At the beginning of my change of life, I was 30 years young, with two small children, going through a more than challenging divorce. To this date, it was some of the toughest days of my entire journey, and I am so blessed and grateful for that time. I finally grew the courage to leave a dishonoring relationship, with the help of the kindest of souls.

Quickly into my new time on this earth, I found a massage school I knew I had to attend. The owner was eclectic and interesting. She was a bit boho, with a hint of intellectual brilliance thrown in. The school was absolutely the most wonderful thing I had ever done at that point. I walked into a building and got massage twice a week, every week, for over 3 months. I wasn’t too interested in being a therapist, even though learning about how my own body worked, seemed like a novel and fabulous idea anyway. I was there to go to school, and to become something, while I felt like I wasn’t much at all, due to the ugliness of the divorce. The school grew me, and I began to discover gifts I had no idea existed within me.

The time when this became the most apparent, was when we had our final hurrah if you like. The class was completing with a retreat, that came with lots of healthy rules. There was to be no chocolate or caffeine, no meat or sugar, and only class students with a couple of instructors and the owner to lead a structured immersion.

The whole weekend was to be held in small, rustic wooden cabins, at a nearby Native American campground, sat around a large lake style pond, with two great big yurts, one that held for classes and another for meals. The weekend was intense, with hours of massage, blindfolded, and powerful sessions for each of us, then group meals, and nature walks, and even swims in the pond. A level was reached when there was a tipping point energetically. One person opened up on the table, and tears flowed. They described it later as a euphoric feeling of releasing what didn’t serve them, and instead filling with so much light, that it took quite a while to return to earth. They had become a channel of light, and once that person touched the next, a very interesting domino of channeled light followed, until almost everyone ( there were those who chose to not succumb) had all experienced the filling up of light.

I was both nervous and excited about the possibility. I definitely wanted to know what that was like and yet I was scared it would change everything in my life, which was already at a slightly breathless, dynamic pace of alchemy as it was. I had called it in though. I was laying on the table, facing my greatest fear at the time……………my own death.

The tears and welling up of fear was more than I thought I could handle, yet I faced it. Then once I allowed the acceptance wash over and through me, this extraordinary feeling of euphoria became my knowing. I could feel my light. I was glowing brightly and I could see it. I was the channel of light.

It did change my life forever. I have been doing this work ever since. I understand more than I can even begin to know in my most human form. I love being the channel of my own light. I love knowing her through my humanity.

I wish that each of us can know our own channel of light as I now do.

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Love & Blessings,

Ruth

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