(From SEPTEMBER 28, 2021)

Over the span of a lifetime, we have many opportunities to share time and energy with each other. We learn a great deal about how people tick and more importantly about what matters most to us.

We have time to share who we are, how we dream, what is important to us. Some of the time and energy shared is wonderful, while other circumstances and events can present more challenges.     

Some of my favorite times have been the sweet breaking of bread with community in times that have felt celebratory.

Other times have been filled with judgment or difficulty, however, both make up the interesting collage of life, and it wouldn’t have the vitality and interest without the mix.

This story has that mix…………………

At one point in my life’s journey I was living in a very newly constructed community. My children were young and I found other young families to share time with. It was good for my children and there was a sense of belonging for me as a young parent.

One of the young mum’s began inviting me to help create and cater a yearly community event, that grew each year, until the last one we held included over 65 people.

It was very popular, with a huge hot buffet table of food on both sides, music and fun for the whole family. It was exhausting and yet satisfying at the same time. A great space to share.

I felt pretty close to her and soon after my marriage split, she and I became more distant and the annual event had stopped. We kept in contact, and met rarely.

She invited me, my children, my mother and my new husband to dinner with her family.

At the table during our meal, she began to speak to her children, sharing aloud about not wishing them to spend time with other children from broken marriages. She preferred them to be connected with more wholesome people who had stayed together.

I felt as though her sharing was a huge slap in my face and wasn’t sure what to do with the information. She had the right to educate her own family about moral issues and preferences were definitely her choice, yet was it appropriate or kind to do that with me at the table?

It was something I would need to sit with and consider beyond the space we were in at the time.

I remained quite silent after that and I must admit I wanted to leave.

We all did leave soon after that conversation.

The next day my mum came into my office and held my hand. She looked into my eyes and reminded me that I was a good mum and was doing a great job, the best I could do. My mum, my champion, always.

Her sharing was kind, compassionate and a much needed confirmation.

I didn’t see that family again and didn’t need to. She had made her position perfectly clear and that was her absolute right.

We were in different places for different reasons and it didn’t matter at all.

I had my life journey to take and she had hers. Our maps had their own destination points.

That share made it clear who needed to be where.

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Love & Blessings,

Ruth

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