This story is so close to my heart, that I feel I have my heart sitting in my hand as I share it……..

I lost my mum from this earth plane just over a year ago at this point of writing, and it was my greatest loss. She was such a dear friend and confidante. She was my place I could always turn. She was my “go to” and I will miss her physical presence in my life for the rest of my time here. I have a sweet life with a good man, and this is more than enough, yet the space she filled in my life cannot be filled by anyone else. When someone special leaves, there is a gaping void where their sweet being was and nobody can fill that gap.

Adjusting to it is really all many of us can do.

I am so spiritual and psychic. You would think it would be much easier for me with those gifts. I thought it would too. Guess what? It really isn’t.

I stretch to reach for her and yet I’m able to get huge detail for those I read for with the loss of their loved ones. I can so often see in technicolor for them, and for me, it’s simply too close.

My heart desire was to feel incredibly close to her for the rest of my life and to receive messages and knowings that she would send me, and signs and messages that I couldn’t possibly miss.

There have been some huge signs and then there’s been the reality that she didn’t answer or the message wasn’t clear. I am not frustrated, it makes me question how in the way I may be to not be as connected to her as I’d like. I want more. I am left wanting so much more.

I’m being honest about this because I know it will help some of you who are challenged by the massive gap a dearly loved one leaves behind.

I know we are all born to die and that the true graduation of this life is the leaving it behind.

I know none of us get out of this life alive.

However, I forgot how sorry I am when someone that holds a beautiful place in your heart, isn’t on your plane of existence anymore.

What am I doing about it?

Owning it for one thing.

Living my life as best I can.

I am living more heart open and with greater honesty, because I’ve lost one of the greatest reasons to be here, so I must keep finding more great reasons to be alive.

This journey is mine.

Her journey was hers and her life journey is complete.

My job is to keep discovering what my heart came here to feel, express, experience.

This life is about stepping constantly into that which the heart desires.

I am committed to doing that every day until my journey completes.

I really look forward to seeing her again.

Until then I am ready every day to live heart open.

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Love & Blessings,

Ruth

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