Sometimes in life you don’t really fully know what or who you have until you don’t have it or them any longer. It’s quite wonderful when you get it while you are still experiencing it, rather than after the fact.

I would be totally remiss at this time of year, to not mention my mum. She was an October 11 baby, who survived World War 2 and lived to 89 years old.

If I’d had my way, she would have lived my whole life, and left here at the same time as me.

My deep appreciation of her grew with every year of her life.

She was a simple person, with a great mind, who was horribly underestimated by almost everyone I ever knew.

I got it.

I had the massive pleasure to know who she was, understood any shortcomings, and accepted her for them all, as I have learned to do with me.

We are none of us born entirely perfect in how we physically show up in this life, yet the love and acceptance of ourselves we lean to master while here, is of great importance.

My mum loved me. She really loved me.

Sometimes she was able to wholeheartedly love me more than she was capable of loving herself. She was still working on that one. So am I and intend to keep at it for the rest of my life here.

As she grew into her 80’s when I told her I loved her, she would simply tell me “I love you more.”

I wanted to rebuff that comment, and yet there was a truth to it.

She could love me unconditionally easier than I could with her.

I was younger, busier, had more balls in the air to bounce, more places to go, more demands on my time.

She had little to take her away from love. There were less distractions or temptations. She didn’t need anything from me other than my attention and care.

I wanted her sage advice, I hoped to gather some wisdom she could so easily spill my way, I sometimes needed to know I was on track. I wanted to be reminded that I was a good person after all, even when some of the people I cared about had rejected me.

She only wanted to sit in the same room as me and enjoy my company.

She didn’t need much anymore.

She ate less, traveled little and local, enjoyed small victories, and had more time and room for love.

I knew she loved me.

I also know I am loved by all my guides and spiritual Masters of the Universe.

Sometimes when my Worldly reality is far from loving, I remember where love lives and I remember that I must always love me.

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Love & Blessings,

Ruth

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